I want some space....

Suddenly, I want some space of my own... I wanted my own personal space... my own quiet moment, my own time to do my own stuff and not with anyone... I suddenly felt that my own space is getting smaller... constantly been filled up with him lately and my friends... just suddenly felt cornered that when can I do the things I wanted to do?? when will he listen to what I'm talking? When will he be paying attention of how I feel at times? I wanted my OWN SPACE!~!~ Perhaps I have been alone for sometime that suddenly another person gets into my life and I'm seems lost... lost of how to balance him with my work, with my own space... suddenly he seems to occupy the whole space that I once claim is mine... no longer I can have a breathing space of my own... every one space he wanted to be in it... sometime is not that I don't want him to tag alone... just that sometime I just want to have my own space.. own moment with my friends to gossip about him, to gossip about other guys, to gossip about each other... but this space seems to get smaller.... my own private space at home is already very small... a space for me to spend quiet moment to read has to be shared with my mum fearing that if I read too late I will disturb her sleep... my private space to watch what I want, my favourite movie is near possible... with only a shared TV set in the living.... the freedom to sleep late is often followed by the constant nagging of my mum.... so where can I have my OWN SPACE- my own freedom to do what I wanted to do....

After been with him for awhile....I wonder a person who loves himself.. will he be able to see the person he loved, how she felt, listen to what she talk and understand what she is talking about.... the answer is very difficult..... sometime, I just felt that he don't listen to what I'm talking about... sometime he don't understand how I feels... what I felt is he cared about how he feels, what he wants and what he wants to talk.... nothing is more important apart from him.... even thought he says that isn't the case... but that's how I felt at times... for instance, I asked him to help me rent my book and wasn't feeling too good when he decline it, because he felt it is too rush for him to go for his gym.... I wonder what does a 15-20 min delay have on his training session??? A muscle lesser to grow out from the many other muscle he has?? Not blaming... anyway it's my book not his... not his problem, it's my problem. I have learn to be emotionally, spiritually independent from people especially to the one I love... partially I know that one day if I depend on them too much... and if everything falls... I will be left alone feeling empty... so even now... I never intend to depend on him on anything... I never know what will happen.... fallen angel meant to walk on the ground she fall... she shall not fly to heaven.. as heaven never has a place for her. God send her an angel, but she shall not be tempted... or she will be burn... I will always remember I'm a fallen angel banish from heaven...

Well, I'm not complaining because we hardly know each other, having known a few months does not necessary understand each others... we are in fact from two different social background... living in two different life previously... never knew the other party exist till we met each other one fine day... you might not even fully understand your best friend who you have know for ages,likewise someone you just know for a few months.... time is needed... and I hope in time he can understand how I feel, really listen to what I'm talking about... likewise I will get to know him more....

Today I guess is one of the days.... that I'm felt too much... the kind of day I felt that I have push to a corner to shout out loud of how I feel....PMS-ing....